The Beginning has to start sometime

Today is the last day of my old life.  That's so dramatic.  On Tuesday morning, March 29, I am going to be getting banded.  What does that mean to those who don't get it?  Well it means that I am undergoing a surgery that will dramatically reduce the amount of food I am able to consume.  It's called the Lap Band.  I wonder idly at the origin of that name, but I don't wonder too much.  It is what it is and I am going to join an alarmingly large -- no pun intended -- and growing -- damn pun again -- group of people who have already undergone this semi-dramatic way to lose weight. 

So how have I prepared for this particular journey?  Well, I've eaten.  I've eaten most everything I can get my hands on.  I feel like I am going to take the Dead Man's Walk and I've eaten my last meal at least 20 times in the past couple of weeks.  Tomorrow I fast.  It's not because the doctor requires it but because I've made myself ill and can't fit anymore food inside of me!! I am going to be prepared for the day of surgery and immediately following, when chicken broth will be classified as a meal and 4 ounces of skim milk will be classified as a snack. 

I told a friend recently that I was ashamed to have reached this point in my life where my own self control couldn't help me remain healthy. I hate self loathing and don't often sink to its depths.  But I'm frustrated and have nobody to blame but myself.  She said that I am taking a necessary step to get healthy and she encouraged me to start this blog.  So here I am, doing just that.  May the journey begin.