I am going to get better at this!

I haven't blogged in a while.  I am assuming blogging, like any other habit, takes time to perfect.  I guess I go back and forth between wanting to write just about my Lap band surgery but also wanting to make this about my regular life stuff too!

But today is going to be about frustration and working too hard and finally being able to have the opportunity to sit back and RELAX.  John got his new job and starts on the 25th.  It was a long long haul to where we are now, and it has been very scary.  We are on the verge of losing our house and the mortgage company is not being cooperative.  I understand now how people are losing their homes because it gets so overwhelming dealing with all of the red tape and people just get scared.  I am thankful I was able to have two jobs when he was underemployed so now I am SO looking forward to the month of May.  I have signed on for maybe 6 days at the second job and I have a full 3 weekends off!! I couldn't be happier.  Of course my OCD personality is already figuring out projects that I am going to do, things that haven't been done in a long long time.  Bring it on!!

Now to my weight loss journey.  I have lost anywhere between 21 and 26 pounds depending on when I step on the scale.  I've lost it all since 3/23.  I'm excited, not hungry and just cruising along so far.  I hope the hunger never comes back, but I am also realistic enough to know that it will.  In either case I am going to be ready for any eventuality, because *I* am so worth it!

So far so good

It's been a while since I posted here.  Hyperfocused I suppose.  Or maybe I am just lazy!  In either case.  I have a lump.  It's as a result of the surgery and is not uncommon but why me??  It's called a seroma and it's been drained once already.  My surgeon says not to worry about it.  Hmmm, it's not HIS lump!!  So I may go back next week and get it drained again unless my body chooses to absorb it on its own.  Dare to dream. 

On the other side of this equation is the fact that this is working so far.   The scale shows a decent loss.  The numbers aren't important.  I just like to see that the scale is finally going down.  I had convinced myself I could never lose weight again.  What a scary thought.  But nothing else was working and the scale was not moving, so a clear reason is because I just couldn't do it!  I am glad to see that is not the case, because I don't like being told I cannot do something, you know?

This is such a journey, more mental then it is physical.  I imagine only those that understand weight issues will really undersand that statement.  I am working on the mental, the physical will come after I am sure of it.

So, John is at a job interview

John has just left the house to go on an interview.  Not that wonderful or amazing news one would think.  Well this is the first interview in over a year of being unemployed or slightly employed.  What is slightly employed?  Well, slightly employed is working for commission only, selling major appliances at Sears.  Sad when the commission check is dramatically less then the unemployment check was.  Very sad.  He is on an interview now and there are four more pending interviews!  After over a year of sending hundreds of resumes; and that is no exaggeration, he is now looking at being employed by three other companies as well.  What changed suddenly?  Well some would say that the economic outlook is changing.  Perhaps the unemployment rate is getting better.  I don't know what it is, I'm just happy that it is changing!

Having a partner that is slightly employed is a challenge.  There is resentment and sometimes it touches the core of the relationship.  I have been fortunate to have two jobs for the past 3 1/2 years.  I haven't been touched by the unemployment curse nor do I feel I will ever be.  That furthered resentment when I would feel as if John was not carrying his weight.  He's done much better after a few heart-to-hearts so I am thankful for that.  So here is praying for a good interview and a much needed "real job" for John.